


Teen Mom, Varia Edition

by waywardmuse



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Accidental Kid Acquisition, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Chapter Art, Dysfunctional People Raising Children, Gen, M/M, Non-binary character, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Unconventional Uses for Dying Will Flames
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-10
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-09-23 06:30:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9644465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waywardmuse/pseuds/waywardmuse
Summary: Squalo had planned for greatness for as long as he had an idea the concept. Things he had not planned for: Xanxus, Xanxas ending up in a popsicle, and every damn thing after he picked up that mousy little Sky kid.





	1. Squalo Needs an Adult

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please check content warning in the end note.  
> Edit 02/10/17: So, my dear artist partner looked this over and I forgot one of her pics ~~completely unforgivable, I know~~ , which is now added at the end.

**January, 2006**

The mission is too easy. Most of them are. Squalo just expects something more from a Sky Flame user. This one is low purity and weak; too weak to even gather a paltry set of Guardians apparently. Squalo doesn’t understand _why_ the customer felt the need for Varia Quality in this assassination; but outside contracting always picks up with odd jobs after Christmas, after everyone spent time with relatives and realized there really relatives they would happily never see again.

Squalo waits and cleans his sword of the man’s blood, keeping his somatic and Flame senses active, _just in case_ . Mammon’s analysis rates this at a 98% mission success rate. They are probably taking into account the weird factor that comes from being in Northern Italy, one of the biggest Flame and Mafia hotbeds, _and_ that it’s entirely possible this pathetic Sky picked up an equally pathetic and potentially annoying Guardian like yesterday. Wouldn’t be the first time _that_ has happened.

Letting a target’s Guardian go free after killing the Sky would be the opposite of good cleanup and result in more _paperwork_ . (Sometimes, Squalo wonders if someone had just told him he would be doing so much fucking paperwork at _sixteen_ , he might have had a _moment’s_ hesitation of joining the Varia. _A moment_.)

And then, Squalo hears _it_. A whimpering sound. Maybe a dog.

Squalo follows the sound, an easy enough feat in this small cottage (which if the house is suppose to be a safe house, it fails spectacularly), out of the kitchen, through the small hallway, and into a bedroom.

He doesn’t make a sound—Squalo is _Varia Quality_ —but the sound stops when he enters the room.  

He scans around the room. It’s a fucking mess, clothes everywhere, a gun sitting uselessly on the dresser, drawers open, broken wine bottle on the corner, and—ah. The closet is cracked open.

Squalo circles around the room, angling himself away from that vantage point. He stalks over to the other side of the door, sword ready, and flings the closet doors open.

The screaming starts and Squalo almost stabs on principle.

Inside the closet is a _little kid_ , who cowers with his hands raised above his head as if to stop a blow.

“Hey!” Squalo shouts, in surprise but the kid does stop yelling.

The kid blinks teary eyes, face a molted lot of healing and newer bruises. There are bruises on his arms too and probably more under the kid’s pajamas.

The kid looks too small to be school age and his too thin frame shakes in terror.

Squalo’s stomach turns.

 _Nothing_ in the Mammon’s report mentions kids. Squalo remembers a note where Mammon says how they aren’t sure if the customer’s motives are a Flame rivalry or an extreme hatred between cousins.

Now, Squalo thinks the customer fucking knew _something_ about this.

The kid doesn’t look like his target. Fluffy, brunette hair and warm brown eyes, and an Asian cast to the kid’s face compared to dark haired, green eyed man in the other room whose features suggested Italian with more Western European.

“Hey, where are your parents?” He asks.

The kid is full on crying now.

Squalo sheathes his sword and crouches down. “Come on kid, talk to me!”

And the kid does. Except, he’s not speaking Italian. The babel is quick and not Italian, but Squalo knows enough words to recognize the language as Japanese. It’s not one of the languages he knows fluently (yet); however he can guess what the kid wants from the repeated use of the word for “mom”.

Squalo picks up the kid with his free arm and tries not to think of the tears and snot his shirt is being subjected to as the kid leans into his chest.

“ _It’s okay. No one is going to hurt you.”_ He tells the kid with the little bit of Japanese he knows.

The kid makes a soft sound and _hugs_ Squalo around his neck.

Squalo doesn’t panic. He’s doesn’t DO panic. He just happens to flares his Rain Flame and _intentionally_ knocks the kid out. A complete and successful tactic to calm the kid down.  

The kid is fast asleep and doesn’t even stir when Squalo goes back to the kitchen to stab his target again.

He should have stabbed the man in the gut earlier and let the man die slowly.

 

* * *

 

The Varia officers aren’t going to question him directly—Squalo has made clear from new officers to those who joined the Varia _before_ Squalo that if he thinks there has been an infraction, Squalo gets a new training dummy—but Squalo does not want to deal with potential talk in the Varia.

Which is why he uses the Varia Elite’s access tunnels from the garage instead of storming through the halls in his normal post-mission routine. (Squalo loves the mixture of stress relief and efficiency his stalking through the hallways with sword brandished and voice at full volume gets him, catching anyone who needed more training and collecting any quick reports the Varia deem important enough to risk getting their heads taken off rather than leaving the report on Squalo’s desk.)

He pulls the car in; the car is not one of the usual vehicles to grace the Varia Elite parking space but his motorcycle hasn’t been available for the last week anyways since a supposed genius brat decided to take it apart and then decided putting the motorcycle back together again would be far too boring.

(Squalo would have skinned the brat prince with his own knives if Mammon hadn’t immediately taken the kid on their mission. And while with the rare chance of snow looming in the forecast, Squalo would still have chosen a car over his bike for the sake of heating, the so called genius brat still needs to be taught a lesson.)

For a moment, Squalo stares at the little kid, curled up in the back seat with Squalo’s winter jacket and sheathed sword, and wonders what the fuck he is doing.

He has never _liked_ kids.

After _Belphegor_ Squalo pretty much _hates_ kids.

This one, though, hasn’t puked on him or tried to stab him yet, making this encounter far from the worst but _still_.

The kid sleeps soundly as Squalo buckles his sword again and hoists the kid over his shoulder. Squalo spares only a moment to the thought that he may have overdosed the kid on Rain Flames. It’s not like the calming nature of Rain is an exact science and the kid is still breathing, so Squalo avoids the thought as he heads to the elevators.

The hallway between the elevator and his suite on the top floor is empty and Squalo bolts down the hall and slams his door behind him.

Normally, after a mission with such a subpar target, this is when Squalo would hit the training rooms and force a fight with whichever Varia trainee that fails to make themselves scarce fast enough before settling down to finish mission reports and the ridiculous pile of paperwork that the Vongola requires for compensation.

Instead, Squalo sets his sheathed sword down on the dresser and shifts his hold so both arms are around the kid. He’s pretty sure the kid is past the age of when parents stop carrying their brats all the time. The kid is light and small but _bulky_ enough to be awkward all the same.

He rests his chin on the kid’s head and tries to figure out what the fuck he is doing.

Squalo is not passing the kid off to a Varia grunt. They aren’t stupid enough to ask Squalo questions but _there will be questions_ even if they don’t ask him directly. He gets enough commentary, both Varia, Vongola, and the rest of the mafia for his _age_ , he doesn’t need anyone thinking he’s soft.

But considering his sixteen years of life has centered on beating every swordsman he can find, with a side of mafia, Squalo is willing to admit he doesn’t know what to do with this kid.

His first thought goes to Dino but Dino is off training who knows where with the fucking best hitman of all times. Not that Dino is a great choice; he is barely month older than Squalo and the mafia-don-to-be doesn’t know what to do with a laundry machine let alone a kid. Still, foisting a brat off on Dino would be _easy_.

Xanxus…

Well, Xanxus would be a worse choice, even if Xanxus isn’t currently stuck in a block of ice.

Squalo knows better than to go to Xanxus for problems that cannot be easily fixed by shooting something or needs something done _immediately_ without waiting for one of Xanxus’s epic plots to unfold.

Which leaves Squalo with whom he has been mentally avoiding.

He can’t exactly ignore Lussuria’s presence down the hall, not when his Flames are as bright and irritating as their namesake on a blistering summer day.

But being forced to tutor beginners sword fighting at mafia school again just sounds more appealing than asking Lussuria for help.

And his school hasn’t asked Squalo to do that again since he took out an entire wing and stabbed the deputy headmaster in the thigh. (Later, when Squalo wonders how he didn’t get a detention, Dino tells him how the headmistress cackled at the news and made a toast to the deputy’s early retirement.)

This time, Squalo acknowledges, _he’s_ the brat who has no clue what he is doing.

He allows himself ten seconds of wallowing before taking a deep breath and marching off to the kitchen, where he senses Lussuria.

 

* * *

  

The look of surprise on Lussuria’s face is almost worth asking for help.

Almost.

Up until the point Lussuria starts laughing.

“Well, are you going to help or not?” Squalo says.

Lussuria plucks the kid from his arms and looks at the kid’s face, making a clucking sound. “Some people, _hmph_.”

Squalo considers defending himself against any possible accusation of hurting a nameless kid—the Varia are ruthless but kids aren’t the normal kind of jobs they pick up; no _sport_ and rarely any pay worthwhile—but Lussuria moves away from him, drifting towards the oversized kitchen table.

“Time to wake up, cutie pie.”

There’s a rush of Sun Flames and the kid opens his eyes. He blinks slowly, brown eyes wide and confused.

“Aw, aren’t you cute?” Lussuria says and starts babbling in some terrible Italian baby talk about being so cute that Lussuria would eat him right up. Squalo would have thought Lussuria is putting on his usual creeper image—though considerably toned-down from what Lussuria enjoys freaking out his opponents with—but he has heard non-Mafia, supposedly normal people talk to children this way.

“He’s Japanese.” Squalo says.

Lussuria switches languages without a pause in his cooing and gently sets the kid on the kitchen table.

Lussuria tells the kid to hold out his hands and the kid glances at Squalo before doing so. Lussuria waves his right hand, glowing with Sun Flames, over the kid’s arms and bruises disappear.

The kid gasps and shoves this hands forward, trying to get closer to Lussuria, and nearly falls off the table.

“Easy now!” Lussuria says in Italian, with a laugh and settles the kid back on the table. In Japanese, Lussuria tells the kid to relax and, “ _Oh Squalo-chan won’t be happy with me if I mess up my own healing, ne?”_

Squalo knows Lussuria’s games, knows reacting to even small overtures of familiarity can lead to full on flirting and disturbing imagery Lussuria inflicts equally on allies and opponents. He works hard on not falling for such easy traps.

He still twitches at being called _Squalo-chan_.

Lussuria, thankfully, seems engrossed in healing and Squalo doesn’t get the usual onslaught of macabre flirtation.  

The kid sits quietly on the table, staying still and watching Lussuria’s hands as he works to erase bruises. Squalo expects fidgeting; _Squalo_ is fidgeting and he’s not getting the brunt of the Sun Flame. Sun Healing _itches_ when the Flames repair torn flesh and bruises.

“You’re good with kids.” Squalo says and once it’s out of his mouth, it sounds like an accusation.

Lussuria looks over his shoulder and rolls his eyes. “I do have baby cousins.”

Squalo doesn’t say anything to that. Technically, Squalo is in charge of the Varia files has sections on members’ families and shit but Squalo hasn’t really ever thought of Lussuria’s existence outside the context of _Varia Officer_ and _Really Fucking Annoying_.

The kid giggles under Lussuria’s glowing hands. Squalo wonders if that is a good sign or a sign of derangement.

“All better!” Lussuria says in Italian and pats the kid’s cheek, before looking over to Squalo. “So cute! Squalo, where did you find this little Sky?”

“This _what_?!”

“You didn’t notice? I suppose the seal makes him less noticeable...”

Squalo looks at the kid, really looks but doesn’t see whatever Lussuria found.

Lussuria rolls his eyes and taps the kid’s forehead with a spark of Sun Flame and a cartoonish ‘bang bang’ sound.

The kid giggles, grasping Lussuria’s hand and a flicker of orange Flame puffs into existence.

The Flames are a subtle warmth, different from the full presence of Xanxus. There is no thrill, not like the Flames of Wrath, not egging him on and demanding attention, but those are definitely Sky Flames. Squalo takes a step forward. Those Flames are calm and welcoming, like the Vongola Boss’s are said to be, even though the Ninth’s Flames grate on Squalo’s nerves unlike the energy high Squalo gets from Xanxus and—

Lussuria smacks his shoulder. “Stop looking at him as if he’s a bomb. You are _terrible_ with kids.”

Squalo regrets putting his sword in his room. He considers how easy stabbing Lussuria in the ribs with one of his boot knives would be but then the kid starts babbling again and Squalo does _not_ want to deal with the kid on his own.

The kid’s Flames disappear suddenly and both of the Varia flinch, the sudden disappearance registering like death even as the kid merely frowns at them.

“And that’s the Seal I’m talking about.” Lussuria says and focuses on the kid again, keeping up with the Japanese in a way that has Squalo feeling like he should brush up on to understand the kid.

His stomach sinks when he realizes he’s planning for the kid. A baby Sky hoodwinking him, when the Vongola Boss doesn’t affect him despite Xanxus and his Sky Flames being stuck in ice for over a year.

 _Dino_ ’s Sky Flames—weaker and calmer than Xanxus—don’t tempt him despite everyone expecting that of them, since both Dino’s and Squalo’s own Flames ignited during mafia school, _first in their class and always together_.

But the kid’s Flames don’t have the same allure of Xanxus’s, not like when Xanxus first entered the Varia Compound demanding a position and set Squalo on edge, or when Squalo listened to his plans for the Vongola and everything just clicked in the certainty of Harmonization.

This is softer, not demanding his attention, unnoticeable until Lussuria mentioned it, but there, under this supposed Seal, Squalo feels a gentle tug.

“Hey Squalo, you still with us?”

Squalo scowls. “What did you get from the brat?”

Lussuria sighs at Squalo. “His name is Tsuna, five years old, lives in Japan with his mom, and his mom was preparing for a special guest coming after New Year’s before he got grabbed.”

Squalo waits for Lussuria to continue.

Lussuria shrugs. “The special guest part sounded weird to the kid but he says his mom was excited.”

“That’s it?”

He’s not expecting a kid to flat out name a mafia family out for his blood or such, but surely _something_.

“The only things that are useful. He’s a _kid_ , Squalo.” Lussuria crosses his arms. “I would have guessed a civilian kid before I felt his Flames _and_ he’s been traumatized and scared.”

“He looks fine.”

The kid— _Tsuna_ —seems fascinated by Lussuria’s blue mohawk at the moment. Squalo’s glad he doesn’t have to put up with crying or anything but he still expects _something_ from a battered kid in a room with strangers.

“You doused him with Rain. Enough that my Flame didn’t clear out all yours by the time I was done healing.” Lussuria pouts at him for a moment and then waves it off with his next thought. “Speaking of which, the kid’s...lucky. He got hit a lot but _burned_ people if they didn’t move away fast enough. I’m guessing he can overflow that seal?”

“Does he know he has Flames?”

“Does he know what they are? Nope. He describes it as seeing Flames and then people  screaming.”

Squalo thinks of _Xanxus_ but the thought of the Boss’s Flames of Wrath doesn’t fit with fluffy kid.

The ‘people screaming’ part does, however.

“Isn’t he too young to even _have_ active Flames?”

Lussuria stares at the kid, considering. “It’s unusual. Even Bel...well, that was just two years ago, when all of that unpleasant political shit happened, so he was eight when his appeared. Maybe that’s why the kid’s been Sealed.”

“How long has he been Sealed? How long has this kid had Flames?”

Lussuria asks Tsuna a couple questions and Squalo doesn’t have to know Japanese well when the kid’s face scrunches up in confusion to know whatever he answers in response isn’t going to be useful. Lussuria hums and then tries again, differently worded but to no result.

Sealing isn’t something that comes up often. The Mafia’s modus operandi for Flame users is omerta and a quick assimilation to a mafia family, or death. Sealing, however, is something a more public figure with connections gets or someone being punished in house or a la Vidicare.

A Sealed kid? Just as weird as the fact the kid even has noticeable Flames to seal at this age.  

“He doesn’t seem to remember anything about the Sealing.” Lussuria says, and picks up Tsuna.

“What are we doing about the kid?”

Lussuria smirks and hands the kid over. Squalo grabs Tsuna on reflex.

“Wait, what…”

“You give him a bath. I’ll make dinner.” Lussuria shoves him out of the kitchen. “Just like playing house!”

Squalo starts walking towards his room again, arms full of a giggling kid, and _then_ the words hit him.

“WE ARE NOT PLAYING HOUSE!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings for this chapter: This chapter is all in Squalo's POV and he recognizes that a six year old Tsuna has been the victim of physical abuse and human trafficking, and Squalo also considers the potential for sexual abuse (which has not actually happened to Tsuna). Also, Squalo is an assassin, so there is a description of him killing a person and this story will have mentions of him killing people.
> 
> Notes  
> 1\. I have a lot of ideas about that sealing scene that the anime slipped in...like this story happening.  
> 2\. Since canon keeps Mammon/Viper’s gender neutral so I am going to make them non-binary and using they/them/their pronouns.  
> 3\. I’ve aged certain characters up because all of them being ridiculously young is ridiculously annoying. Edit: Bel is the same age in canon (as relative to the Cradle Affair happening when he is 8 years old), Squalo is a year older than canon (15 at Cradle Affair), and Tsuna is actually 2 years younger than canon(4 years old at Cradle Affair). Thanks to eternalevecho for catching my mistake!  
> 4\. For extra writing notes and an additional sketch from my wonderful beta and artist 033 (who does not have an internet presence), please see [these chapter notes on my tumblr](http://waywardmusings.tumblr.com/post/157048597451/fanfic-notes-and-extra-sketch-for-khr-fic-teen).


	2. Playing House

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, 033 and I are having conflicting schedules...and I may have forgotten that this chapter was pretty much done besides editing. My bad.  
> Content warnings are including in the end of the chapter notes.

**January, 2006**

In all honesty, Squalo should expect the nightmares.

As tired as the kid is and with a mere hint of Rain Flames left in him, Squalo knows better.

The sound is quiet and somewhere else, Squalo would have dismissed the sound. But even half asleep, he knows he’s in the Varia Compound, where the walls are reinforced to be sound proof. He reaches for the knife stashed between the mattress and headboard.

The next sound is familiar, weirdly so, and the memory of yesterday forces him to wake up fully.

The kid.

Damn.

Squalo lets go of the knife and reluctantly gets out of bed. His room is fairly dark, with the clouds obscuring any moonlight but with a faint glow suggesting that dawn is close.

The kid is where Squalo stashed him last night on the sofa, sleeping restlessly under the duvet from Squalo’s own bed—a hideously floral-patterned fabric from Lussuria—and making that annoying whimper sound.

Squalo stalks over to the couch and kneels down, putting him on face level with the sleeping kid. Tsuna remains quiet for at least a minute and Squalo considers heading back to bed when the whimpering starts again.

Wondering if nightmares are anything similar to snoring, Squalo adjusts the pillow underneath Tsuna’s head.

Tsuna’s eyes open and Flames flare up like a wispy, orange halo.

Squalo can taste the desperation, the flight or fight instinct, and he remembers Lussuria talking about _actual fire_. He reaches out, hand coated in his own Flame and shakes the kid’s shoulder. “Hey!”

Tsuna struggles in the mass of blankets to sit up, looking from the blue Flames to Squalo’s face, squinting.

“You’re okay.” Squalo says, then repeats himself in Japanese.

The Sky Flames disappear—completely gone, which must be that Seal because once Flames fully develop, hiding effectively takes skill—and the kid reaches for Squalo.

He lets the kid hug his neck and pats his back awkwardly.

Tsuna makes a soft hiccuping sound and yet another one of Squalo’s shirts gets treated with snot and tears.

Squalo pushes the kid back on the sofa. “Stop crying!”

Tsuna blinks, focusing on the metal hand holding him down on the sofa.

He reaches his hands out and Squalo braces himself for some more crying or screaming.

But Tsuna holds his prosthetic hand in wonder.

“Cool, huh?” Squalo says, lifting the hand off the kid and flexing the metal fingers. There is no real feeling in the digits and he has dropped swords more than once with a bad grip before he realized he could make a better specifically attachment but his non-combat prosthetic is impressively better than anything available yet in the civilian world. “There was a swordsman, the best in Italy. And I knew I was going to be better than him. But first, I needed to be _like_ him. And he lost his hand a long time ago, to a wolf if the rumors are true. I asked Tyr himself but the guy was a lying bastard and...”

Squalo pauses, noticing Tsuna’s eyes are half closed. He grins as the kid slouches down into the tangle of the duvet and continues on. “He once told me he was born without at left hand but I’ve seen pictures, the liar. Another time he told me he lost it to a shark, which, _heh_ , I think he said because my name. The joke's on him, I beat him. Took two days but I _won_. And killed him.”

The kid’s eyes are closed now and his breathing is evening out.  

Squalo adjusts the duvet to cover him up again and glances at the window. The glow of oncoming dawn is less subtle now but Squalo doesn’t have the desire to go through more paperwork or hit up the gym yet.

Squalo turns so his back rests against the couch. It won’t hurt to rest his eyes for a moment, the kid will wake him up anyways at the next nightmare.

 

* * *

 

The combination of heat and light from the mid-morning sun wakes Squalo.

Confusion hits again, like the first time he woke up. This time he is still on the floor in front of the sofa but now the duvet is wrapped like a cocoon around him and the kid is _gone_.

The idea of Tsuna ending up on one of the lower floors and running into one of the lesser Varia flashes through Squalo’s mind and he is instantly on his feet before remembering both the stairs and elevator have lock codes.

Still, there is much that the five year old can get into trouble with on the Varia Elite floor.

Squalo struggles out of the duvet and after a quick check under the bed and in the closet, he confirms Tsuna isn’t still in his room and he heads to the kitchen where he can sense Lussuria...and Levi?

He doesn’t _run_ but he does reach the kitchen faster than he normally does before he’s had his first espresso.

Squalo immediately focuses on the large moka pot on the stove (force of habit) and then the large pile of orange peels (from the strong scent of citrus). He skips over the apron-clad Lussuria by the stove and focuses on the kitchen table, where Levi is sitting quietly next to Tsuna.

It’s a fairly surreal image, with Levi fully dressed in his Varia uniform and Tsuna still in those pajamas, both with a large glass of orange juice in front of them.

Squalo blinks, trying to clear away the strange sight.

Short of an order from Xanxus, Levi doesn’t have an interest in children but Levi doesn’t _care_ about people or really anything that is not Xanxus-related and Squalo expects some sort of reaction rather than Levi staring blankly at one of his (many) dying potted plants on the kitchen table.

Without Xanxus around, Levi has been weird. Squalo doesn’t know his baseline for weirdness—when Squalo first met Xanxus, the Sky already Harmonized with Lussuria and Levi—but he doesn’t remember Levi doing things like trying (and failing) to care for potted plants in Xanxus’s presence.

“Squalo, you’re in time for breakfast!” Lussuria says. “I’ve just finished baking bread. We didn’t have much in the pantry and I used up all our oranges. I’ll do a little shopping later.”

 _This_ is also odd; Lussuria enjoys cooking but without Xanxus around, he rarely sticks around the base long enough to make two meals in a row.

Seeing that Levi has not stabbed or electrocuted the kid, Squalo sits down next to Tsuna.

Lussuria appears at the table side placing a glass of orange juice and cup of espresso in front of Squalo and then returning a moment later with plates, freshly baked bread, and jam.

Lussuria settles down, across from them and smiles. “Aw, when’s the last time we had a Varia Family Breakfast?”

“There is no such thing as ‘Varia Family Breakfast.’” Squalo grabs several slices of bread and jellies them. He puts two slices on Tsuna’s place.

Lussuria’s eyebrows shoot up. “Oh reeeeeally?”

“I agree with Squalo.” Levi sips his espresso, gaze focusing on the dead plant centerpiece.  

At this point, Squalo bets Levi is pretending the kid does not exist.

Breakfast goes by fast and mostly quietly, thanks in part to how Lussuria focuses on his espresso—in a noticeably larger cup than he gives either Levi or Squalo—and frequent trips back to the moka pot interrupt his usual annoying commentary.

Squalo puts another slice of bread on the kid’s plate.

Tsuna tugs on his shirt sleeve and with a nervous smile says, “Thank you.”

At first, Squalo doesn’t realize anything other than _the kid’s pronunciation is terrible_ but then Lussuria fucking _squeals_ and babbles at the kid in Japanese about _doing very well, just like they practiced_.

Now that Lussuria is caffeinated, Squalo wants to make a break for it and run but he’s still unsure of what to do with the kid. “So…”

“Hmm? Oi, Levi, your turn to do dishes.” Lussuria says.

Levi gets up automatically—Lussuria doesn't clean after cooking as a rule and there isn’t (much) arguing as long as he continues cooking—and then pauses. “But Squalo—”

“Oh, Squalo is going to run to town and pick up some clothing for the cutie pie here.”

“I’m going to _what_?” Squalo shouts. There goes his hope of off-loading the kid onto Lussuria.

Levi, seemingly pleased by Squalo’s discomfort, smirks and heads to the sink to get started on the dishes.

“The kid can’t live in a dirty set pajamas forever. Honestly, I’m going to burn these things.”

“Isn’t fashion more your thing?” Squalo tries.

Lussuria gives him a flat look. “You are buying clothes for a five year old, not designing a line up for Fashion Week. I’m sure I can trust you with this, sweetheart.”

 

* * *

 

 

When Squalo returns to the Compound, he has several sets of clothing for Tsuna and a bunch of toys because after the first toy resulted in wide eyes and a huge smile, Squalo doesn’t bother resisting. He tells himself that he will send all the stuff home with the kid; it’s not a big deal and, no Lussuria, it’s not _domestic and adorable_.

Four days later and the toys spread out from Squalo’s room to the rec room and now in his office.

(Squalo savors the memory of the first Varia grunt to walk in his office and see a five year old with coloring books and toy trucks on the floor. The thrashing he gave the next several grunts that came in with flimsy excuses to see him is also entertaining. Members of his Rain Squadron especially should know better than to be so obvious in their pursuit of _gossip_.

He isn’t _soft_. He’s utilizing a new and unpredictable form of psychological torture.)

Tsuna is a fairly quiet child, whether from personality or from the language barrier and Squalo barely takes notice of him in his office when they are alone. Lussuria’s notes are far more of an annoyance, because really, he does not need notes on _remember to feed child; do not let have guns or swords, etc._ (If Squalo does keep the ones about naps and useful Japanese phrases, well, he’ll admit not having experience with childcare. If it comes to that.)

Still, the questions of _where_ Tsuna comes from bothers Squalo.

There isn’t a missing person case matching the kid’s description on record in Japan. Or anywhere, despite the fact there is enough three to eight year old kids missing worldwide for three Varia Quality consultants to get back to him _four days later_.

There are possibilities; Squalo has seen enough shit that he initially considers the mother could have sold the kid. Or, since there seems to be a lack of family (the kid _thinks_ he might have a father but seems altogether confused by the concept according to Lussuria), someone killed the mom before taking the kid or took the mom and the kid, and no one knows them well enough to make a missing person's report.

There was also the issue of the brat being a fucking Sky.

Rare as they are compared to other Flames—lie or not, Xanxus being related to the Vongola Ninth Boss is easier to believe than a Sky Flame appearing spontaneously and even now the mafia world speaks of a failed coup of an ambitious _Vongola_ son, not of a cuckoo in the nest—but Skys are not rare enough that Squalo hasn’t assassinated a handful of Skys before.

Usually, the assassination of a Sky is on the pay of a related Sky. Matching Flame Animosity between Skys breaks out so much more than other Flames. (Another thing that mafia gossip throws accusingly on Xanxus, despite of the five Vongola Skys, only Enrico and Massimo ever occasionally show signs of Animosity and always towards _each other_ rather than the rest of their family.)

Case in point being the Sky scumbag that Squalo found Tsuna with, though the Sky customer had not been aware of the brat’s circumstances or even sure his brother had a kid on him, just a real disgust in his brother when Squalo interrogated him.

Squalo is wholly irritated by Varia’s inability to trace _how_ a Japanese kid was trafficked to Italy. As far as they can get, Tsuna was held at two different warehouses in Italy—one in Vongola territory and Squalo made sure to anonymously pass that on to Coyote because the Vongola had clear rules on human trafficking and Xanxus would shoot Squalo if he let such disrespect continue—but potential records and informants were rather fire-damaged.

With the emphasis on _fire_ , Squalo can imagine why someone tried to seal the kid. But considering the fact the only places the Varia could trace the kid to _literally went up in Flames_ and has a rather impressive body count for a five year old and a rather specific body count for what looked like arson (dead human traffickers with recovering from smoke inhalation but alive trafficking victims), Squalo really thinks someone should have just taught this kid control. Might not be hard to teach if the kid actually can manage to cross the line between Sky Flames to actual fire, a specialty of Xanxus that takes far too much force of will to be second nature to most Flame users.

In a weird way, Squalo thinks this is the fairy tale ending; the kid has a decent body count at five and manages to end up in the Varia while the Elite are Harmonized but the Sky himself conspicuously absent.

(Not that Squalo thinks Xanxus would have gone all Double Sky Animosity and shoot the kid—there’s no sport or payoff after all—but Squalo probably would have had to stash the kid somewhere other than their base. No reason to tempt Xanxus’s all too mundane temper with someone who can’t dodge bullets.)

“Brat.”

Tsuna looks up from his coloring book.

“You want lunch?”

“Lunch?” Tsuna copies the Italian, then repeats the word in Japanese.

“Yes, lunch.” Squalo stands up. “Come on.”

The kid drops the blue crayon in his hand and nearly trips over the coloring book on the way to the door.

Squalo grabs him by the waist and hoists the kid on his shoulder, pretending to ignore the delighted shriek.

He’s just trying to avoid the kid from running into the doorknob and getting a black eye again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings for this chapter: Vague mentions of human trafficking and sexual abuse of children. If you feel like I need to add anything else, or have a specific question about content, feel free to message me.
> 
> No art today, 033 is a very busy lady!
> 
>  
> 
> [Writing notes on my tumblr.](http://waywardmusings.tumblr.com/post/159719853126/teen-mom-varia-edition-chapter-two-writing)


	3. Ironing Out Details

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No new content warnings.

**January, 2006**

Squalo finally admits to himself that he’s been putting off assignments when the profile of a Russian mobster setting up shop (illegal weapons trade to Vongola rivals, did the presumptuous idiot really think he would not be noticed?) on the edges of Vongola territory catches his eye.

It’s not so much the mobster but his current bodyguard that has his attention: Ximena Del Hierro, the last student of a long line of Storm Flame swordmasters.

He hasn’t been idle; his paperwork has never been so orderly and he’s done a personal _review_ of almost all of his Rain Squadron’s fighting skills (Varia quality, of course, but they always can be _better_ ).

But oh, the _thought_ of such a challenge has him salivating. Squalo defeated another student of Del Hierro’s line last summer and the fight was _exhilarating_.

Normally, he would already be making arrangements to go after Del Hierro—and her weapon-dealing client—however…

Squalo stares over the edge of his desk, where Tsuna is putting together a very improbable vehicle with Legos.

Varia Intelligence _still_ hasn’t found anything on the kid’s origin after two weeks, despite Squalo personally visiting the Intelligence office and venting his frustrations at them multiple times.

He entertains the idea of dragging the kid around for missions for a total of fifteen seconds before he recalls the Tsuna's tendency to run and hide when spooked...which usually ends up with bruises with Tsuna's tendency to trip over his own feet and go flying down the stairs or smacking hard into a door. 

Squalo hits his metal fist against the desk, spooking Tsuna into dropping his Lego vehicle. It doesn’t survive the fall in one piece but the kid doesn't seem to notice, with wide eyes focused on Squalo.

Squalo sighs and stands up. The kid is annoyingly easy to scare. With the calm of his Flames dancing along his skin, Squalo holds out his hands to the kid.  

“Where?” Tsuna asks in Italian. He’s getting better at Italian _and_ improving Squalo’s scant knowledge of Japanese. Despite his wariness or perhaps already lulled by Squalo’s Flames, Tsuna reaches out his hand.

Squalo picks up Tsuna, holding him with one arm against his hip. “Let’s find that idiot.”

“Luss!” Tsuna cheers.

Squalo hopes the kid is learning more Italian and correctly connecting Lussuria with the word _idiot_ rather than thinking that Squalo usually spends time with the Sun Guardian.

 

* * *

 

It’s easy enough to find Lussuria in one of the common floor gyms. Lussuria says he prefers these gyms over the private top floor one do to being able to encourage Varia agents...which he does, but his motives are less altruistic when it comes the potential for what Lussuria refers to as “eye candy”.

The officer Lussuria is chatting to—one of Squalo’s own _Rains,_ damn it—as the Sun Flame user does what is likely a very large number of one-armed pushups, pales when he sees Squalo and nearly trips over himself to salute Squalo before making a run for the exit without any subtlety.

“Really?” Lussuria twists his head to look at Squalo while continuing his push ups. “We’re both off the clock, can’t I have a little fun? I don’t bug you when that young Chiavarone visits.”

“You offered him a MASSAGE last time!”

There three second period of silence in the gym but most Varia agents know better than to gawk like idiots and the few who paused for that outburst quickly regains their senses and goes back to their workouts.

“Oh, Squalo-dear, your boyfriend is just too funny. You would have thought I offered him a blow—”

“SHUT UP!” Squalo’s face heats up.

Tsuna has no such tolerance for Squalo’s tone and tugs his pant leg. “Are you good?”

“I’m fine, brat.” He says and ruffles the kid’s hair, even as his sword arm twitches. Oh, to run his sword through Lussuria and shut up the pervert for good!

Lussuria moves into the plank position, shaking with laughter. “Fine? I’m sure you’re a bit ah, pent up, with how your boyfriend is being kept so busy by that tutor of his.”

He really should have brought his sword. “Dino isn’t the issue here. I need you to babysit for a while.”

Lussuria shifts into a low squat. “I guess I’m not busy...but what are you going to pay me?”

“Pay you?”

“Well, yeah. Mammon and I get funds for watching over Bel.”

“You _what_?”

“You sign my paycheck.” Lussuria shrugs. “I’ve had the babysitting bonus since Bel first showed up and I fed him dinner.”

“Wait, so Boss authorized that?” Squalo is careful with new paperwork, the assignments, and the Vongola reports. He doesn’t outright _neglect_ the paperwork Xanxus already set up but he only gives them a quick glance before renewing. There are only so many hours in a day and as long as Mammon isn’t bitching about salary and expenses, Squalo doesn’t _care_.

Though it looks like he’s going to have to clip off at least another hour of sleep to read through all of the paperwork shit because what else has he missed?

“You think he really just let Bel have the run of this place since he was _eight_?”

Well, yes. Squalo is pretty sure Xanxus would think that shit would be hilarious. So maybe his shitty Boss is _slightly_ less shitty than Squalo thought. “What do you get for Bel?”

Lussuria rattles off the number.

“Fuck no!” Squalo says, because he’s not that good at creative bookkeeping and he either has the choice of more Vongola questioning his authority to write expense reports--potentially surrendering even more of the Varia’s autonomy that _Xanxus_ carved out--or losing a third of _his own_ paycheck. “A quarter of that.”

“What!? No.”

“Are you telling me you think he’s the same amount of trouble as the brat prince?” Squalo gestures to the kid, who watches them with wide eyes and one small hand holding on to Squalo’s pant leg.

Lussuria pouts, and holds the expression for a good thirty seconds. “I suppose not. Tsuna-chan is  such a sweetheart, no knives in my back from him. One-third.”

“No, I’ll find a..." Squalo searches his brain for the word. "Daycare. Or something.”

“With our hours?” Lussuria laughs. “And what happens if he flips his lid and starts throwing around Flames?”

“A nanny, then.”

“And you’re really going to trust someone with a Sky kid? Someone tried that and _we_ ended up with him.” Lussuria says. “I don’t know which way we would lose him sooner; with a defenseless civilian or with a mafioso who knows what he’s actually worth?”

Squalo takes a deep breath. “Fine. A third, no more.”

Lussuria’s grin makes Squalo hate his life.

 

* * *

 

For paranoia’s sake, very few rooms in the Varia Headquarters are soundproof.

Squalo understands the importance of being alert at all times. He really does. He’s gotten decent warning of Xanxus’s temper via overhearing an increasing amount gunshots over the usual baseline. And more recently, Squalo caught Bel trying to pull some ridiculous trick with a bucket full of paint but failing at being sneaky because the genius kid is still a loud ten year old boy and there isn’t an ounce of subtlety in the kid’s nature.

But Squalo is still pissed off that his bedroom is not one of those rare, blessedly soundproof rooms. Barely a half hour into his post-mission, post-paperwork nap, he hears Lussuria’s laughter.

That would be (mostly) ignorable. Squalo works very hard on his ability to ignore Lussuria.

The high pitched shriek afterwards is not as ignorable. But, the sound is followed by childish laughter and Squalo isn’t going to go running into a room with his sword ready to find that Lussuria is merely tickling Tsuna _again_.

Squalo keeps his eyes shut and tries to force himself back into sleep.

He’s almost there when Tsuna shrieks for a second time.

Squalo’s arm twitches, ready for his sword and he reminds himself that there are _reasons_ to not kill Lussuria.

Such as, Lussuria currently is the only choice to watch after Tsuna for one and, more importantly, there is no way Squalo is going to put up with babysitting Bel when Mammon returns. (And there isn’t a Sun that can rival Lussuria in the Varia, whether considering fighting skill or healing or the spine needed to deal with Vongola bullshit.)

The next shriek and burst of laughter has Squalo on his feet. He deliberately avoids his sword because he is not getting stuck with Bel.

He follows the sound down the hallway, passed the kitchen and lounge, and is surprised to find himself in front of a door he’s ignored for the last year.

The Cloud Guardian Room.

The fucking traitor’s room.

Squalo takes a deep breath that does nothing to calm himself and kicks the door open.

The occupants freeze at the sound and look at him with matching surprised expressions.

Tsuna and Lussuria are wearing matching pink aprons and Lussuria is holding a feather duster out towards Tsuna.

“What the fuck are you doing?!”

“Oh good, you can help us clean.”

Squalo’s teeth grind. “It’s the traitor’s room.”

“Yep, and I am going to happily trash his stuff and give the room to a five year old.” Lussuria says, speaking slowly as like he does when teaching Tsuna new words.

The plan has a glaring flaw.

“Who says we are keeping him?”

“He’s been here for two weeks.” There is amusement in Lussuria’s tone, that same smugness that he first greeted Squalo with when Lussuria and Xanxus first arrived at the Varia Compound. _("Aren’t you cute_ ," the fucker had said, still says often, but then it was at the heels of Xanxus, before Squalo’s world is turned upside down and before Squalo has a _purpose_ beyond his swordsmanship.)

Squalo bristles. “It’s been just fifteen days!”

Lussuria smirks at him and tosses him a broom.

Squalo catches it and snarls out, “What?”

“It’s a broom. What, were you raised with airs like Bel?”

Squalo scoffs. His family is fairly well off but small and Grandmother never lets anyone slack off; the threat of taking away everyone’s swords hovered in the air the moment she assigns anyone a chore. The old bitch would do it, too, whether the slacker is a school-age grandkid or her own wife.

Lussuria, on the other hand…

Squalo has been snooping, because Lussuria is right about how little he knows about the other Varia Officers.

Lussuria is from   _the_ Quattrocchi Family of Sicily, the once favored son expected to be the next Don...who became a Guardian. His family (and the whole mafia world) expected to bring back the _the fourth Vongola Sky_ to Sicily since Xanxus was always known to be ambitious and had barely a sliver of a chance for the Vongola name with three older brothers and sketchy background, but instead Lussuria caused an up uproar when he abandoned everything—his name, his status, _his family_ —to join Xanxus in the Vongola.

For any any Family less than the Vongola, this would have been _war_.

“Get to work, Squa-chan.” Lussuria says. He hands the duster to Tsuna, pointing the kid over to the bookshelves.

Squalo makes a rude gesture behind Lussuria’s back and enters the room, broom in hand.

He hasn’t returned to this room since the first week after he killed the traitor. The Cloud’s diary—once hidden within a antique _Bible_ of all things, was the only piece of incriminating evidence Ottavio kept, probably intending to use it as a convincing tool with the way he wrote about concern for the Vongola when everyone who knew him knows that rat cared only for himself, chose status over his own _Sky_ —now sits in Squalo’s office safe.

The everything else in the room is the exact mess Squalo left it.

And the mess is rather extreme; Ottavio covered his wretched soul with a ‘love’ of mementos, items associated with memories and _photographs_. Photographs with Xanxus, Levi, Squalo—with  _everyone_ , a scrapbook of the Sky and Guardians Ottavio betrayed. 

Not much remains of the photographs but there is still much to clean up if Tsuna is to have these rooms.

The thought hits him hard, of erasing Ottavio’s space for a child, a practically _civilian child_.

Squalo smiles.

He sometimes wishes Ottavio had a grave for him to spit on; but the phrase “swimming with the fishes” always fascinates Bel and it’s a lot easier to simply label Ottavio as a traitor to the Vongola as a whole if his body is never found.

 

* * *

 

He leaves the kid alone for _five minutes_ —he just needed a cup of coffee to deal with the half-done mess after Lussuria fucked off—assured by the emptiness of the floor.

Squalo hears the scream first—Tsuna's.

Then comes all too familiar laughter.

The little brat isn’t supposed to be back for another day yet! Squalo curses Mammon’s shitty timing and runs out into the hallway and....

Well, it's not the bloodbath he had imagined.

Tsuna is up against the wall, outlined by knives and, thankfully, without a single injury. His hands are twisted around thin wires that lead to a tangle around Bel's feet. Flames are present on both kids, though only Tsuna has that strange vacant look that. Despite being up against the wall with egotistical little terror wielding _more_ knives in front of him, the kid doesn't look nervous for once.

Bel, on the other hand, is a bit of a mess between the tangled wires and reddened cheeks that just scream temper tantrum. "No! You did it wrong!"

Squalo doesn’t even try to stay composed; he laughs.

Bel throws one of the wireless knives, hitting the wall barely a few centimeters from Squalo’s elbow. He usually has better aim than that. "He's not supposed to see the wires!"

Tsuna says something in Japanese (Squalo isn’t sure _what_ he says) and Bel pouts.

"The wires aren't _that_ shiny. Levi didn't notice."

"That's not saying much, brat." Squalo says. Though he can definitely see what kind of trick Bel is going for. Maybe something other than wire or even a less reflective metal? Coating the wires would probably make them thicker. In an enclosed place like the hallway, with better wires Bel could probably create an invisible obstacle course with a side of mindfuck. Squalo refuses to be impressed—the brat is only _ten_ —but he can see the possibilities. “Nice try, but you fucked up.”

"Then I'll kill this invader the old fashion way." Bel brandishes his set of knives. 

Tsuna squeaks.

Squalo lunges and grabs the collar of Bel's shirt, halting him a mere half a meter from Tsuna. "The kid's a guest. And a more welcome one than you."

"Says who?"

"Me."

"Well,” Bel raises his nose. “You're not a prince."

"Prince?" Tsuna says, then speaks more in Japanese. Squalo gets the gist of his words, something about fairy tales and Lussuria.

Bel stands tall, shrugs off Squalo’s hold, and talks back in Japanese. Squalo can _hear_ the smirk in his voice.

"Cool!" Tsuna says and starts babbling—about princesses and dragons? Ugh, what has Lussuria been reading to him?

"He's not a prince, he's a little shit." Squalo says.

Bel swings around, knife in hand. "I am too a prince! You commoner!"

There are days when Squalo hates whoever was dumb enough to bring this brat home. Storm Flame genius or not, he's so fucking annoying.

"Squalo?" Tsuna says, sounding tired.

Squalo glances over just as the Sky Flames fade and the kid falls to the side and onto wires...which are still intertwined around Bel’s feet. Bel’s head jerks up and for a split second, Squalo can see his wide eyes as the realization hits. The brat doesn't get a chance to move as the wires twisted around his feet snap tight with an audible click before pulling his feet out from under him. Bel hits the ground with a solid _thud_.

Bel looks up with such a gobsmacked expression that Squalo throws back his head and laughs. Laughs so hard that his ribs start to hurt.

Seconds later, Squalo has a knife in his thigh and he barely can bring himself to care.

The Sky kid is a gift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my dear 033 did not get a chance to double check this yet but I'm not expecting any major changes to be needed.  
> [Chapter 3 writing notes on my tumblr.](http://waywardmusings.tumblr.com/post/160465873066/khr-fic-writing-notes-team-mom-varia-edition)


End file.
